


Going back

by Loveforthestory



Category: Revolution (TV)
Genre: F/M, charloe - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-07-21
Packaged: 2018-02-09 02:51:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1966167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loveforthestory/pseuds/Loveforthestory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charlie  went to Vegas twice. Both of those times, Monroe was there too. How did she go from wanting him dead to saving his life?</p><p>This story continues in 'Things Change.'  Will they find each other somewhere down the road, between all the threats, the past, war and impossible moments?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Vegas

**Author's Note:**

> So, hey there! Nice to meet fellow fanfic-fans here! This is my first fanfic-story ( It's very scary to share this with you). It started all with some great conversations I had with a dear friend about that Revolution. We love to talk about the moments they did and did not show us on the show. What happened there? I think Charlie is fierce, and this story here, is all about her. After this story I am working on another Charloe story.
> 
> If you have any requests, thoughts or ideas please feel free to share!

 

Going back

 

New Vegas

New Vegas. They came to Vegas, the three of them. They desperately needed help with their fight, and this was the place where Bass thought he could get that help. Miles trusted Charlie to go along with the Monroes, to make sure they would all, well, actually came back. And now here she was, in the dark, hiding. Trying to find out what the hell was happening. They almost made it out with the diamonds they needed for the help they came for. Almost. But reality was, Bass and Connor did not make it out, both men were locked in a cage.

She noticed Bass looked like hell. She could not help but feel a little sting in her stomach. A sting she pushed away very fast. Her mind was racing. How could she get him, them, out of here? Her mind stopped. The thought of one woman came to mind. Duncan. Out of all the people, she could be the one to help her to get Bass and Connor out. She know it was going to be a long shot. But Duncan knew who Bass really was, so that had to count for something. Never mind the way they looked at each other. Not that she cared. Why would she care about Monroe and Duncan? With a sigh she realised Duncan was the best and only option Charlie could think of right now to get them out of that cage and out of Vegas. Alive and in one piece.

Another sting in her stomach, which she pushed away even faster. Here she was in Vegas, again. With Monroe, again. At least, every now and then, the universe had a hell of a sense of humour, she thought bitterly. She took a deep breath and with one last look towards the cage, she knew what she had to do. What she wanted to do.

 

A place to breathe

After all the events in the tower Charlie found herself spending time in Willoughby. It felt like she spend the last months in a storm of emotions. And know, everything came to a sudden stop. But all the memories, being around her mother, all the pain. It was just too overwhelming. She had to leave Willoughby, be on her own. It was not easy, but the option of staying was even harder. She wanted to try to find some place in her mind where she could breathe again. The last moment she shared with Miles, with his arms around her, still made her heart feel heavy. She left, walked without direction and covered a lot of ground. Just to forget, wanting to leave a part of her behind, escape the pain somehow. Erase memories. Monroe. Sebastian Monroe. His name always in the back of her mind somehow. The first time they met, his eyes, his arrogance, the gun. Sebastian Monroe.

 

Scars

In all those years that where behind her, The Militia and Monroe became an one dimensional concept in her mind. The person she could blame and hold accountable for so much of the things that made her doubt sometimes how to get through another day. All the things she lost, all the people that died. The things that would never be the same. They things that would never come back. That where lost. For her, Monroe was the one man that caused so much of her pain. It filled her heart with so much hate and anger. She would kill him someday. Even if she would not walk away alive from killing him, Charlie would kill him. It became her mantra. A lifeline to hold on to.

And one day, by sheer dumb luck, the scar on her arm, the Monroe scar that became a part of her body, that scar brought her back to him. Someone recognized it and without her even making an effort, she knew where to find him. It brought her to Vegas for the very first time.

She did not know what she expected to find there. The man she had in her mind was the man standing next to Strausser when he put a gun in her face. The man who seemed so in control, had such an intense energy around him that it was insane. And that was exactly what she thought of him; insane. But then when Charlie first saw him in Vegas, fighting with empty eyes, that man was gone. But she knew it was him, she knew immediately the very first moment she saw him. Everything else slowed down. Leaving him, her and all the hate going through her body as the most important things in that moment. There was only a couple of feet between them. This was her moment.


	2. War of words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all, for reading and following the first chapter. This is chapter two, chapter three is on it's way!  
> Coverart by Kwacenka.

War of words

 

It had been warm in the tent where she watched his every move. The casino, the blonde next to Monroe. It took her some time before Charlie realised that this was real. He was there, really there. Now she was hiding, waiting. Monroe came out of his trailer. She had her eyes on him, her crossbow firmly in her hand. There were only a couple of seconds between him being alive and dead. She expected to feel a lot, but there was only her breathing and the cold night air around her. And the hope that maybe after this, she could finally move on. Just a little bit, but move on nevertheless. But then the bounty hunters showed up, breaking that moment to pieces. Her arrow missed Monroe. And instead of dead, Monroe ended up being dragged away.

Like a dream, parts of that night were going on and on in her mind when she woke up. Her head hurt, her body hurt even more. The last thing she remembered was following the bounty hunters. A surreal empty swimming pool in the dark. And Monroe asleep and tied up against one of the walls. She tried to focus, realising it was day and that her hands were tied up. Her first instincts told her to find a way out. As fast as she could. Even when Miles was far away, he trained her well. Helped her in that moment. No panic, just think, she told herself.

'Rise and shine.'

A deep voice coming from her right. It took her only a second to realise she was tied up. Next to him. Intense blue eyes staring at her. Monroe. Before she could process this, the bounty hunter walked her towards her to help her with the wounds she got from the shot right before she passed out, falling into the swimming pool. She could feel Monroe's eyes on her, but when the bounty hunter touched her jacket to pull it aside to reach the wounds, he looked to the ground.

Talking to the bounty hunter, that was the first time she heard about the US government. Charlie had no idea then, that it was the moment that would change everything again, start another fight, again. No had no idea then, that she was going end up fighting next to Monroe in the future, instead of fighting him.

When the stupid and annoying bounty hunter left, Monroe had the nerve to actually talk to her. Ask her questions about all those things she was trying to leave behind. The tower, her mother, Miles. The moment she saw how two cities got destroyed with a push on a button, almost crushing her. And the cautious and low tone of his voice surprised her. Like she was really going to open up towards him. It made her angry, so angry she calmed down and used everything she had to be in his face. But with every punch, Monroe knew exactly how to punch her back. Push her buttons as well. God, this man knew how to get under her skin. It irritated her. The swimming pool might have been empty, it was still filled with tension. Tension between them. Like it always had been.

And now, with a lot of distance to that day, while she was getting closer to Duncan's camp, she heard his voice again.

'You don't know me Charlotte,'

Charlotte. She knew now that he only called her Charlotte when he was trying to get under her skin, to get her attention. She hated when he did that, it made her feel smaller then she wanted. Was he right? Did she know him, or only a part of him, paused in time? That moment in time with Strausser, forever standing still in her head. And then Charlie did, what she always did when she reached this point. She kind of knew the answer to this question for herself. And it had her heart torn up in two. Her loyalty to her family, her stubbornness. The way she looked at the world, the people in her world. It was changing. In ways she was not ready to admit. But they were.

And from the swimming pool her thoughts went back to Miles, her goodbye to Miles. He had told her to try to limit the stupid down to a minimum. And then, with a smile she thought about the moment she actually attacked Monroe when he escaped from the bounty hunters. Well, as far as she was concerned, he deserved it, nothing stupid about that one. She did not succeed in killing him, but fighting him that night, still worked magic for her anger. He had punched her back, so hard she could hardly breath.

But that was all he did. He could have killed her there, within seconds. But he didn't. He could have told the bounty hunter exactly who she was. Gave her identity away. General Matheson's niece and daughter of the woman with a bounty on her head. He didn't to that either. He could have hurt her, shot her, when she dared him to shoot her, after walking away when he told her he came along with her to warn her family.

She remembered what it was like to stand so close to him before walking away from him, she could feel his breath on her face. She knew she was on thin ice, only a small fraction away from push him over the edge but she could not help herself. He was taller and stronger, but every time he was around her, she felt herself moving closer to him. Leaning in just a little bit more. Close to his chest, his shoulders, his strength. Being able to see every line is his face. Pierce her eyes into his.

Now, after spending so much time with him, Charlie knew exactly what happened when Monroe's eyes got filled with rage, when she saw every muscle in his body tense up. But he never hurt her. How much she tried to push his buttons, how much Charlie wanted him to lose control, so she could keep telling herself what a monster he truly was, he never did.


	3. Show of faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello to you!( so amazing that you are reading my story, and to know that we can meet here) Thank you so very much for reading and showing your kind support! Today it's time for chapter three! Chapter 4 will be out somewhere around the weekend. Love to write but life happens in between too. ;-) Still, doing my best to give you another chapter very, very soon. ;-)
> 
> After this story I am working on another Charloe story, that will follow this season but will leave out some parts, like the connor-charloe hook up in Vegas. A lot of Charloe fans wanted another twist in the story and you know what's the beauty in fanfic? We can do that! A different view on things, following the episodes, but then with new scenes and some alterations, combined with the old one!
> 
> So, if you have any requests, thoughts or ideas on that story, please feel free to share!For now, my gratitude for reading and best to you all!
> 
> Coverart by Kwacenka.

Little drops of rain. That was the first thing Charlie noticed when she woke up. Her head spinning. The rain touched her skin and little by little the world opened up again. Her body felt weird, like she was a little bit above it. She tried moving her face, then the rest of her body. Charlie was trying her hardest to remember where she was. To remember what happened. It felt like forever until everything started to make sense again. He saved her life. The bastard saved her life. Monroe got her out of that bar. Away from the men that wanted to hurt her. The man that she wanted to hurt so badly, got her away from the men that wanted to hurt her.

She never talked to anybody about that night in the bar. She walked in the bar feeling numb, she felt so much that she stopped feeling anything. She needed something to eat. And Charlie did something that went into everything she learned about survival. If Miles ever found out, he would never stop yelling at her. She would never go somewhere alone anymore. Like forever. And he had every right to yell. She did not pay attention. Not enough.

There was a huge sense of relieve that went through her whole body when Monroe stormed in the bar. Relieve, of all things. One thing she would never thought she would feel concerning him. She was already losing the battle to the drugs. She tried to fight off those men as hard as she could, trying to do the impossible thing. To keep them away from her, from her body. But they were circling around her as vultures. Ready to take a piece of her that was not theirs to take.

And when the dizziness flooded her, she knew she was in trouble. In so much trouble. She did not even have to look around her to know the man in the bar where approaching her. With every second she felt her body and the bar around here slowing down. Panic set in. And with the panic came an overwhelming sense of abandonment and loneliness. The very last moments she could recall were doors flying open and Monroe storming in. She remembered his face. The look in his eyes. She remembered him taking down one man at the time with a precision and determination that was almost surreal. The last thing she remembered was him. The man she tried to kill. He was standing right in front of her, tall, looking at her. And at that moment, she let go. She had to give in to the darkness.

When she woke up she tried to take in where she was. She was under some kind of structure. Monroe was sitting a couple of feet away from her. He threw a water bottle her way. Told her to drink. She did not like the fact that she wasn't able to sit up without getting dizzy that made her feel sick. She needed to get on her feet, as fast as possible. Her body did not answer to that need. Her arms gave out and she fell down again.

'Take it easy, ' Monroe said, 'take it easy,' with some more force he added that second take it easy.

Like she needed his concern, his advice. But she did take the water. She noticed Monroe was looking at her every now and then, but mostly to the ground.

'How did you find me?' She did not like to ask him questions, but her wanting to know how he got to her and what happened won from that feeling.

'You are not as hard to track as you think,' was his reply.

'How long was I out,' she continued. She had to know.

'A full day,' his eyes then everywhere but on her when he continued in a softer tone, 'don't worry, I was a complete gentleman the whole time.'

The last part of his answer surprised her. It never even crossed her mind that he would hurt her that way. But somehow she noticed it was important to him to say this out loud.

'Why are you doing this?' It was the one question that was hovering between them. The question she could not figure out what the answer was going to be. She saw that Monroe did look at her again, waiting with his reply, a deep gaze filled with something else then the intensity she came to hate so much about him. Like he did not expect her to talk to him, talk about his.

'A show of faith.' Monroe's voice was low when he spoke those words. For a moment she saw a complete different Monroe. He looked small, was choosing his words slowly and his eyes showed her a different side of this man. For a moment she thought she saw some of this pain. But when she noticed her thoughts were going that way, cold intense loathing set in again.

Show of faith, did he really just use those words? No. Was he out of his mind? And what was going on with the whole try to make it up routine? Seriously? Charlie told Monroe exactly what she thought of this offer. She used every word she could think of to hurt him, to maintain the distance to him she needed so much for her mental sanity.

She saw her words had an effect on him. Good. There was an emptiness in his eyes. And for a very short moment, it hurt her to see him hurt. It only lasted a second, and then she realised this was Sebastian Monroe. Looking back at that moment, Charlie realised there was a chance that him showing his emotions, the regret, the intent to make things right, could be real. Honest. It woke up that part in her that was always in conflict when it came to Monroe. But at that point, his emotions so raw on the surface were just too much.

She saw the knife that was on the ground to his left and decided this had to end. When she jumped for the knife he moved in her direction too and they ended up somewhere in the middle. His hand resting on her arm. She should not have been so aware of that hand. Touching her skin. She lingered a bit on that memory. He was not using that much force, but there was still a lot of determination in his grip.

'What if I told you to go to hell?' she said, noticing how the light of the flames from the small fire lit up his face. Here she was again, so close to his face, his eyes. For a second her eyes went to his lips. Hoping he did notice that. Then back again to his eyes.

'What makes you think you have choice?' was his simple and final reply.

Monroe was still close to her, and Charlie knew this was her last warning. She was beyond annoyed. She knew this meant checkmate. She tried to kill him. She walked away. He saved her life. And made it crystal clear, with such an intensity that she knew only he could achieve, that here was going to be only one option.

She felt exhausted all of a sudden. Her body betrayed her and she had to give in. He gave her some more room and she curled up against a little wall to help her support her own body. She checked for her knife in her boot and realised it was gone. Of course, the bastard had taken it away. Miles thought her everything and this was Miles his best friend from days long ago. Of course Monroe knew where to look. Monroe, already knowing what she was thinking about, tilted his head to his right. Her weapons were there. Only problem was that Monroe was in between. She took a deep breath. And then gave in.

'Fine. We leave tomorrow. ' She did her best to throw it in his face as much as possible.

'Leaving and go where?' He grunted.

'You think I am completely stupid? That's the one leverage I have left on you. The one thing you need from me. That will keep me alive. You really think I am going to spell it out for you?'

She felt he looked towards her . 'Charlie, I told you before, I do not want to hurt you, I..'

'Save it Monroe, not interested.' She looked straight ahead, leaning into the wall.

'We have a long trip ahead of us, Charlie continued, 'at least weeks. I'll take you to Miles'.

She paused for a did not want to mention her mother too. She did not want to discuss her in front of him.

'But when we get there, you are on your own. I don't care what happens, don't care if Miles is going to rip you apart. My job is done as soon as we get there. '

And with that last line, Charlie decided the talk was over. The thunderstorm was really starting to get heavy. She noticed with sarcasm that this was exactly how she felt. She closed her eyes. Felt Monroe's presence close to her. For now, she knew she was safe. He needed her. She was going back. Going back with him.


	4. Sunrise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for following and liking the story, it means a lot to me. Today I have chapter four for you. Happy summer everybody!  
> Coverart done by Kwacenka.

When the sun almost came up, her body still felt like it did not belong to her. Charlie noticed she had dozed off for just a little bit. The rain had stopped a while ago and it was a cold start of the day. She did not mind, the fresh air brushing against her face helped her regaining focus. Monroe was busy packing his things. Charlie was busy ignoring the hell out of him. The silence between them lingering in the air.

She got up, and dizziness flooded her. It only lasted a moment and then faded away. Carefully, she started walking towards a stream she noticed a little bit ahead. She could feel Monroe's eyes on her. When she reached the water she kneeled and let some water run over her face. She wanted to wash away what happened to her in the bar so badly. She pushed away the memories from that night. Too soon. Not ready to feel what happened there.

The sky was starting to become lighter and lighter, leaving only one last star in the sky. It was quiet around her. Hints of pink and orange started to appear on the horizon. If Monroe had not been there, she wouldn't be standing here. It was an overwhelming sense that took her by surprise. She was still here. Because of him.

And today, today was going to be the day that she would close the distance between her and her past again. After being away for so long, she was going back to Miles, to her mother, back to everything she tried to walk away from. Her thoughts went to Miles, wasn't it funny that she missed him most of all? Shouldn't she miss her mother more?

Her thoughts went then back to Monroe. To the moment when she realised there was no other option then letting him join her back to Willoughby. At that moment she wished she was as tall, strong and trained as Monroe so she could battle it out with him, man against man, well, in this case man against woman. Against her. But she was also realistic. If he wanted to, he could hurt her within seconds. Even with all her anger she realised there were some boundaries she had to think off for the sake of her survival. So if she could not kill him, she could sure as hell be in his face, try to push every button in him that she could think off. Let all the hate and rage come out that way. Let him feel how much he was not wanted.

Charlie could actually feel the sun on her face, she got up from the water and turned around. Monroe was waiting for her. He already made sure the fire was out. She walked towards their hiding place for that night. When she was almost ready to pick up here stuff, another spell of dizziness took her by surprise. She hated how unpredictable these spells still were. She hated showing him this weakness, she felt she could not afford this. She had to stay strong, even when she still felt like hell. She stumbled and almost fell. Monroe took one step towards her, his arm reaching out for her. Charlie found her balance again, irritated by the fact that he wanted to help her. She did not need his help. Not now, not ever. It was already worse enough that he had to save her life the night before.

'Get out of my way, Monroe,' she said with a cold a look as she could find for him.

He waited for a moment, and she could see a hint of irritation in his eyes. Apparently he wasn't planning on moving so Charlie just walked by him, brushing his arm with hers.

The last effects from the drugs made that first day on the road with Monroe almost surreal. With every second she spend with him, it amazed her how fast that one dimensional concept of him was breaking down. She had that frozen image of the crazy President in her mind, and now it was like that image unfroze and moved on.

They walked back to the wagon from the bounty hunters, the horses still there. There was no sign of the bounty hunter where Monroe knocked the guy out, but the little drops of blood on the ground alerted the tracker in her. It took her only a few seconds to realise Monroe killed the bounty hunter when she walked away.

Monroe was busy making sure everything was ready to go when she walked to him with only a couple of angry steps.

'So, you couldn't help yourself, right? So what? Just slit his throat? But a bullet in him?' Her eyes were lighting up with anger.

Monroe did not even flinch. He walked to the back of the wagon and got the flyers out again. The same flyers he showed her when convincing her to let him go back with her to warn her family. He put the with her mother's name in front of her.

'You want to warn your family or not?' He almost growled at her. His voice was deep. ' If I would let him walk away, him knowing who I am, then we have even more of those sons of bitches on our tail. That what you want?' Monroe was doing his best to stay calm, but she could see the irritation starting to build up.

It was like a Déjà vu for her. She had this same moment with Miles. When she first got on the road with him she had a moment where she asked him to not kill somebody. Of course, things like that, well, backfired very fast. She changed enough, knew enough right now to actually understand Monroe could be right. Sleeping at night, hoping that this stupid excuse for a bounty hunter did not kill them, was not a things she was looking forward to. In hindsight it was the first time Charlie realised that Monroe and her Uncle were so much alike at times. Same thinking, same decisions.

Doing the right thing was not always the easy thing. He had a point. Which of course, she was not going to admit right now. Instead she walked past him, put her stuff in the back of the wagon, and found an apple waiting with her name on it. She took a bite as aggressive as she could, and climbed on the wagon with ease. She glanced at Monroe.

'So, are we leaving or not Monroe?' Charlie said this with the most relax voice she could come up with. She saw he took a deep breath, looked at the ground for a couple of seconds while letting his gun fiddle through his fingers. She realised she went on some road trips before, but going on a road trip with Monroe, Sebastian Monroe, was something she never thought would happen. At least it was consistent with every turn her life took the last year. He then joined her on the wagon and set the wagon in motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it is just the two of them on the road from now one, and well...Monroe might surprise Charlie. And Charlie will surprise herself! Will she take some comfort from Monroe? Will she let her guard down and let him in, just a little? More soon!


	5. Sunset & fighting together, not each other

 

It surprised her how fast they were able to find something that felt like a rhythm together. Monroe seemed to let her lead they way and he did not ask any questions anymore about where they would end this road trip of theirs. At least, for now. They tried to cover as much ground as possible every day. The food in the back of the wagon gave them some supplies but she did go hunting every day. Charlie needed that distance and time for herself. The first time she took her crossbow and started walking towards the line of trees right next to their sleeping place he grabbed her wrist and got in her way.

'Where do you think you are going?' He wanted to know.

She made it into a sport to not to talk to him, to let him be the one that had to break the silence. She could give in and answer then, but the answer would be filled with distance in her voice. She did not know how well she was succeeding, but the flexing of his muscles in his neck told her there were good signs for getting under his skin.

'Hunting', Charlie answered, 'I'm kind of attached to the idea of food to keep me going.' She put the crossbow in between them to create some distance.

He opened his mouth a little bit and then changed his mind. He just nodded.

Charlie tilted her head to the place where the rest of het stuff was.

'Don't worry Monroe, not leaving without those,' she paused for a moment, 'just going hunt down some food this time,' she added, her mind going back to the night in Vegas where she was hunting down him. She kind of hoped his mind was following her there as well.

She threw the crossbow over her shoulder and left for the trees. Finally she got some space. She tried to focus on the hunting part of her expedition but since she met Monroe, the memories from the tower came way too close again. Randall Flynn. The cold look in his eyes. Aaron and her mother trying to stop something that could not be stopped anymore. Miles screaming when counting down the seconds before everything went to hell with the bombs. The intensity of his voice still made her crunch. Witnessing so many lives lost, cities completely destroyed. She knew she had been there, but it felt almost surreal.

And know, knowing about the bounty on her mother's head and his head. Hearing about the US government. Monroe's very intense tone when taking about the problems ahead. There was a part in her that knew Monroe was right. Her intuition told her this was far from over. Not only the war between those who she later would call the Patriots. But also the war in her heart, between the old and a new perspective on Monroe.

A sudden movement from behind the trees ahead shook her out of her thoughts. Thankful for the distraction she put some distance between her thoughts and herself and got her crossbow in her hands to make sure there was some dinner on the table tonight.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On her way to see Duncan, letting the images from those weeks on the road with him coming back to her, Charlie realised that the Monroe she witnessed there, was a Monroe she almost never saw again when they joined the others in Willoughby. She tried to push every single one of his buttons, but his replies were far from the way he heard him talking to Miles or her mother every now and then. He had all reasons to give her hell too, but he never did.

Charlie hated that she could not figure out why he acted the way he did. Was it shame? Guilt? Trying to be on his best behaviour just so she would keep going and bring him back to Miles? Or did they actually came to some sort of an understanding. Formed anything, something, with those weeks alone, together? It was infuriating that she was not able to figure him out. It was even more infuriating that it mattered to her. It took her a long time to admit, but it mattered. Her thoughts went back to the day they ended up in a fight, together. They were on the road together for a little bit more than a week now. It was their first fight. Not fighting each other, but making sure they would walk away alive, together.

It was almost sunset. Charlie took a sip of water before popping the bottle back in her bag. She was grateful the sun was not burning on her skin anymore. She had her jacket loosely tied around her hips. She focussed again on the path before her. It was another humid and warm day. She was tired, hungry and thirsty. She desperately wanted to sleep, and before that food and more water. Monroe was following her, only a couple of steps behind her. Before settling down and getting some much needed rest they were scouting the area.

There was a hint of a noise coming from under the trees on their left, not very loud, but enough to alert them both. Within a second they both made sure they had their weapons ready. Monroe talking a step towards her and placing himself right behind her to cover her. His hands firmly around his gun. Her crossbow as an extension of her own body. They shared one fast look before there was a loaded silence. Charlie felt the familiar tension run through her body. After the silence there was another noise, this time coming from behind them. Monroe turned around, even before Charlie was fully aware of the noise. He stayed close to her, she could feel his back against her shoulders.

The forest went quiet, way to quiet. For a moment there was only him behind her, their bodies close, breathing, tensing up for what they both know was going to happen. Charlie heard something approaching from behind her, and Monroe fired . At that moment two men launched themselves her way. She aimed at one of the men. She did not miss and an arrow pierced it's way into his neck. She could not see what was happening behind her but she heard Monroe fighting with a fourth man. Quickly she took the knife in her boot, and turned away from the knife that was heading her way. The man before her was tall, his eyes rough and he was trying to stab her. She could no longer feel Monroe behind her. The men before her got hold of her arm and threw her of balance. She ended up on the ground, her eyes never leaving the man. Wanting to survive took over from fear, as always. With a scream and everything she had she threw a knife in his leg. All of a sudden, Monroe came back in her sight. The moment the knife landed in his leg, she rolled away, only to hear a gun firing.

Her intuition told her to get up and within a moment she was on her feet again. The forest was quiet again, Monroe and her surrounded by the bodies of the four men they just killed. The threat was over. They both took a moment to catch their breath. Lock eyes. Monroe then walked over to the men who tried to attack her and got the knife out of his leg. He cleaned it and reached out to her to give her the knife back.

'Miles trained you well.'

For the smallest fraction of time there was a sense of admiration when he spoke those words in his eyes, but this time without arrogance and the crazy intensity that made her blood run cold. She hesitated a moment. She tried to think of something smartass she could throw in his face at that moment, but she couldn't. For the first time she didn't want to either. It felt nice to hear Miles his name again. His remark actually gave her some pride. The smallest of a smile came across her lips. She gave him a small nod, this time without the loathing she normally threw in with that. She realised she fought along Monroe, and without them even talking or training together, it worked out. There was something in his way of fighting she could relate too. It took her by surprise. But what struck her most was his energy, the way he moved behind her before the attack without hesitating. Moving closely together to fight of the attack.

Later that night, when they moved their camp to another place, hoping there would be no more scum out there who were going after their possessions or lives, Charlie made some stew from the rabbits she shot earlier. She got her bowl full of warm food and automatically she wanted to put some distance between her and Monroe. She changed her mind. Without a word she walked over to him. Took the empty bowl from his hands and filled it. She extended her hand and after a little hesitating and small look of surprise he took the bowl from her hand. His hands touched hers. Charlie walked to the log next to him and started to eat. He did the same.


	6. Comfort in the darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Charlie take some comfort from Monroe?  
> Coverart by Kwacenka.

After fighting off the attack from those four men in the woods, things calmed down. The next couple of days on the road were long, but without threats. They were running out of errands though. Even with her going hunting as much as she could, they needed supplies. In the afternoon they reached a little town ahead and they decided to stop for those supplies and a warm meal. They hid the wagon and walked into town, both of them being alert and wanting to leave as fast as they could. Well, every now and then they founds something they agreed on. This was one of those moments.

It was almost nightfall when they were done. Charlie was happy she could find a new tank top, just in case the other one completely fell apart, and some soap. Her hair had started to live a life on its own and she was happy she could get her hands on this little bar of soap. Monroe was of course nowhere to be found at this point. It reminded her of Miles, it was 'chick stuff' as Miles had called it before with a slight mocking tone combined with some endearment in his voice. Charlie just had to smile a little bit when thinking about that typical Miles line. As hard as it was to go back to Willoughby, especially if Monroe was going to be right about all the problems they had to face, seeing Miles again was suddenly something she really looked forward to.

She found Monroe again at a corner nearby, he wasn't that far away as she thought. But then again, it felt like he was never that far away. It should have irritated her, but it didn't. They headed to the local bar to get a warm meal. Some variation on something with stew, or soup if they were lucky, Charlie thought to herself with some sarcasm. She vaguely could remember ice cream. How much she would give to get a spoonful of ice-cream again. But for now, Charlie felt tired and hungry and was thankful for the hot meal that was actually on its way.

They were almost at the bar, the familiar sounds of people talking, relaxing, drinking and eating after a long day, coming their way. All of a sudden Charlie felt nauseous. A hint of panic. She pushed the feelings and memories from another night at another bar as far away as she could. She did not want to be this person and was not going to be this person. Those memories did not own her. She took a deep breath to clear her head. She did not know if Monroe noticed the change in her but he quickly took a step forward and walked next to her.

'Ladies first,' he said with a faint charming grin when they reached the bar. Yeah, leave that to Monroe. She could throw, and still did, a lot in his face but not being a charming gentleman son of a bitch, was not part of that. She rolled her eyes at him. But did take his offer and brushed against him a little bit closer then she had to when passing him when she walked into the bar.

When they were entering the bar he did not leave her side. She was grateful it kept the straying looks from other men away from her. Monroe had a presence that gave no other signal then them having to stay the hell away from her. She continued to push away the hint of panic , and focused on her surroundings instead. Focussed on the sounds, the smell of the food, the warmth of the candles. Focussed on her hungry stomach. It worked. There was stew on the menu, as she suspected. With a small smile on the inside she said to herself that the ice cream had to wait for another day, yet again.

Charlie felt her heart racing, she felt like she was disappearing and suffocating all at the same time. There was darkness around her, a darkness that remembered her about that night in the bar. It was the same darkness she felt creeping in around her that came right after the dizziness. The darkness that kept her company until she passed out. Images from the bar, the horrible feeling of being trapped, those disgusting men, they all fought in her head to keep her captive in her dream. The lock, the doors, they would not open. As hard as she tried, the lock was not going to open. Panic took over her whole body. The eyes of those vultures around her, their hands all over her. The lock, she had to open the lock.'

'No, No,' She whispered. Again, she tried to open the lock, this was her only chance.

'Charlie.'

She heard her name coming from very far away, too far away to get her out of her suffocating dream.

'Charlie, wake up.'

The second time she heard the voice, it helped her to regain some focus.

'Breathe, just breathe.'

She knew this voice. It was deep, calm. At this point, the only thing she could do, was use it as the one thing to hold on to. She started to realise she was dreaming, she was not in that bar anymore. Charlie forced herself to calm down. She did not want Monroe to know how much that night still did to her. She did not want him to know what made her scared or lonely. She did not want to be this woman around him ; even if she did not feel strong, she wanted to look the part. But the feeling of spinning around and losing herself in that dream was not going away. Panic sat in, she was not able to breathe. She was not able to hold back the tears. She was not able to forget how lonely she felt right before Monroe stormed into the bar. She was not able to pull away from the dream.

Slowly she came back to the sounds of the forest, she could hear the wind through the leaves above her. She could feel the ground under her body. Could hear the small noises that the fire made next to her. She forced herself to sit, her knees pulled to her body, arms around them.

She shivered. The nightmare left her covered in sweat but she felt cold inside. She tried to control her breathing and slowly, the images from the night she tried to forget all afternoon, faded away. They lost her grip on her. And slowly she had the courage to look up in the direction where his voice came from. Monroe was sitting next to her. He did not move, he just sat beside her. Charlie felt something running down her cheek. It took her some moments to realise she was still silently crying.

When Charlie felt the tears hitting her arm, she did not care anymore what he would think of her. For this little moment, right here and now, she had to let go. She had tried so hard to not feel what she felt. What she had to feel. She had no choice. She never knew if he had seen it in her eyes, or maybe recognised some pain, but he very gently placed a hand on her left shoulder. His eyes were soft. The warmth of his hand and the fact that he was just sitting next to her like there was all the time in the world, helped her breath again. She leaned into his touch a little bit. It was just him, her and the sounds of the nightly forest. It gave her an amount of comfort that she never expected. She hadn't cried for such a long time. So hadn't had some comfort for so long. But here he was. Here she was.

She was thankful he did not talk. That he did not ask questions. Talking was not very easy for her. As much as she loved to feel his strong hand on her skin, she also realised she was so very close to him. She didn't want to break this moment, but it was too much. The dream, the memories, Monroe. She did not want to push him away in that moment, but it was also too much to keep the connection between them.

She felt completely exhausted and slowly laid down again. He removed his hand but not his eyes from her. Was this the man she hated with all her being? Was he capable of anything more than destruction? Confusion lost it from her feeling even more exhausted and she could not keep her eyes open anymore. Charlie was almost asleep when she felt how he covered her with her blanket. It felt soft to her skin. And when he reached her head with the blanket, he very softly and ever so quickly touched her face with the palm of his hand.


	7. Things change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coverart by Kwacenka.

The morning after the nightmare she had woken up after hours of deep dreamless sleep. Normally she was up at the hint of dawn but this time she could feel the sun already shining through some of the leaves above her. Her body felt less tied up, like there was tension gone she hadn't even noticed. She did not move or open her eyes yet, thinking about what have happened. She then remembered the light touch of his hand against her face. It happened so fast, that she was not sure it actually happened.

The first thing she noticed when she did open her eyes was seeing Monroe's bedroll closer to hers than it normally was. Monroe himself was nowhere to be seen. She sat up, stretched her body and then got up. At that moment he walked back from the stream that was not too far away. He had gotten some fresh water for on the road and when he approached her he threw an apple her way. She cought it. Breakfast on the go, she thought.

He quickly began to clear the camping area and she followed him by packing her things. She felt unsure what to do. She was grateful for his comfort, but was not ready to thank him. It was still too hard to utter those words towards Monroe. And even is she was ever to be ready, than her stubbornness was another obstacle to take.

In silence they finished packing everything so they could get on the road again. Charlie passed Monroe on her way to the front of the wagon. And just as she passed him, she heard his voice.

'Are you..are you okay,'?

She could her the hesitation in his voice, like he was still figuring out if she would make another attempt on his life if he would ask something that she didn't like. She froze. Did not have to stomach to look him in the eyes. Her shoulder touched his arm when they were next to each other. Not facing each other but still so close.

'I'm okay Monroe,' she replied softly, still calling him Monroe but the usual sting that she threw in normally with saying his name was not there this time. Charlie was not able to say more. Her shoulder still touching his arm. And at that moment she just knew, the memory of his hand against her face, that was real. It happened. It definitely happened.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two weeks later...

She woke up with her heartbeat in her ears. Her head felt heavy and her leg hurt. She was on the ground, not far from a tree. Instincts told her to get up, and keep moving.

That morning they got into a little town for some errands, not intending to stay long, when all of sudden Monroe grabbed her by her wrist.

'Go,' was all he grunted towards her. It was his General-voice, the one that meant business.

First she wanted to be pissed at him, but that feeling went away very fast when she saw the serious and intense look in his face. Charlie realised he was not being a son of a bitch, he was just making sure they got the hell out of there. Fast. It was all over his face.

She ran along with him when she heard screams behind them. They turned a corner and ran from away further from the screams. The made it out of the town, Monroe leading them to safety. They found the tree line south of the little town and searched for cover there. They got separated for only a moment, she kept running but all of a sudden the ground beneath her moved and started gliding down a small hill. She tried to stop herself but could not stop her fall anymore. She rolled over a couple of times and landed on her shoulder. The point of touching to ground was harder then she expected and she passed out for a couple of moments.

When she regained her focus, she used the tree to find her balance. Her leg hurt but she could stand on it, so for now, that was the least of her worries. She got up and looked around her, scanning her surroundings for possible dangers and Monroe. Charlie got the gun from the waistband of her jeans and slowly started to climb up the little hill she slipped down from. She made sure she stayed low. It did not take her long to reach the top. The first thing she saw was Monroe on the ground. Next to two men. She pointed her gun at the men and after checking and knowing for sure they were not going to be threat anymore she turned to Monroe.

He was shaking his head to clear his mind but was able to get up fast. He still had an intense look in his eyes. She scanned, without really noticing why she cared so much, his body quickly. He seemed alright.

'What the hell happened,' she wanted to know, the adrenaline racing through her body.

Monroe rolled one of the dead men over with his foot. He nodded at the direction of his arm. She saw the man had tattoos she never saw before.

'Probably some clansmen, they were raiding the town,' he growled. 'Sons of bitches. We need to get the hell out of here.'

They circled around the town to get back to their wagon, Charlie could still here the screams. With every step they took they died down. This could have gone wrong very fast, she realised. It was the first moment she thought about what could have happened and what that would mean to her family. If she got hurt or died, both of those scenarios very realistic to her, Monroe would need so much more time to find them. If he would find them at all. They would get no warning.

She shook her head and focused on the road. They travelled for hours before they dared to stop.

They sat up camp and ate something. Charlie noticed he did not use his shoulder like he used to. Something was off. Next she saw the red of blood on his shirt. She learned enough from Maggie to know that this could mean trouble.

'What's with the shoulder, Monroe?' she asked as casual as she could.

'Don't need a nurse Charlotte', there was a build up of irritation in his voice when he answered. Charlotte, he named her Charlotte again.

Charlie felt some anger light up. Stubborn son of a bitch. Well, if he wanted to be stubborn, she could be to.

'Fine, whatever, it's not like you need that shoulder to fight,' she threw in his face, ' It will probably be infected in days, but hey, since we are here on our own, I don't see what the hell could go wrong.'

She walked over to his bag.

'What the hell do you think you are doing,' there was a hint of warning in his voice.

She decided to ignore him and got the little flask out of the small pocket at the right sight of his bag. She threw it towards him the same way the threw the water bottle at her when she woke up, her head spinning from the drugs, many nights ago now.

'For the wound, not to enjoy yourself.'

'Why do you care so much, for fuck sake Charlotte, you tried to assassinate me at least three times. And now you are playing all nice?' He snorted.

There was a part in her that did not even understand herself. But instead of figuring it out, she took the fighting way out. Hearing him call her Charlotte, was just the little incentive she needed to go for another round with him.

'Why do I care so much?' Her eyes darkened. Anger built up inside of her. 'You left me no other choice then to let you join me on this little road trip. So, now we are going to see this through. I did not spent all these weeks on the road with you Monroe, to let something stupid as a wound from a knife get the better of you. So grow up and make sure that wound stays clean.'

Charlie marched over to the wagon to get her bedroll. The truth was she needed to calm down and not think about the obvious question Monroe shoved in her face. Why did she care so much? From the beginning this was the dynamic between her and Monroe. It was a mental rollercoaster ride. God, she wished they were almost at Willoughby.

But then she rememberd his touch, his eyes when she woke up from that nightmare. She saw another part of Monroe, and it made things so much more intense and difficult. She slowly gazed at his direction from the corner of her eyes. He had taken the flask and was using the alcohol to disinfect the wound. Charlie saw a hint of hurt on his face, the wound was deep. Blood everywhere. When Monroe took care of the wound and cleaned himself up she saw how he struggled to get his jacket over his wounded shoulder. Before Charlie realised it she was walking over towards him, dropping her bedroll next to fire. Without looking at him she walked to his side, took the jacket from his hand so he could put his arm in the sleeve No words, no looks. She went to her bedroll and sat by the fire in silence. She just helped Monroe. And he had let her.


	8. Remembering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coverart done by Kwacenka.

'Willoughby,' She stared at the fire when she spoke the word out loud. 'Miles and my mother are in Willoughby.'

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Earlier that day

To her surprise, and even more to her own irritation, Charlie noticed she would let her guard down every now and then. The whole idea of not talking to him went downhill after a couple of weeks. Charlie realised she answered him when he asked her a question. The answer only contained a couple of words, but she still answered. She had to remind herself again, that this was Sebastian Monroe she was walking and talking with. The moments she realised that, she shut down again. Went back to giving him cold looks, ignoring him.

Neither of them spoke about his wounded shoulder again. Charlie understood that in this world, you had to move on fast, standing still too long with the possibility of getting hurt or sick ,was just not an option. He had calmed down, she had calmed down after their battle of words. Time to move on.

And then, on a warm afternoon, the one thing happened that would change the way she saw Monroe for good. It was one of these moments that there was no coming back from. She did not even notice herself that she stopped walking. The memory that started to unfold itself before her, was so sudden and powerful that she could not move anymore. She did not know what exactly triggered this memory but there was something about the warmth of the sun on her skin that brought her back to a garden on another warm afternoon.

She remembered a garden, the smell of summer, laughter, people chatting. She vaguely saw the faces of the people she had loved with all her heart. Her father, her little brother. Miles talking to her father while they were drinking something. She was running around in the garden, the feeling of the grass soft against her feet.

'Catch me if you can,' she could hear herself yelling at somebody behind her, running as fast as she could. Her blond hair dancing around her head.

'Catch me, Bass.'

The memory became crystal clear, and for only a couple of seconds she saw his face, smiling at her. Monroe's face. She rememberd how light she felt, how happy and careless. Charlie's mound felt dry, it was hard to swallow all of a sudden.

The realisation that he was part of her history, of her past and her old world before everything changed so much, was overwhelming. He was supposed to play the part of the monster she came to hate so much. He was not supposed to appear into her memories, become a part of the few happy memories from a time long gone. He was not supposed to become human.

Bass had stopped walking and looked at her, giving her a tired and slightly irritated look.

'Any reason why we are stopping Charlotte?' he asked with the familiar Monroe tone.

'You where there,' she said softly, mostly to herself then to him.

She looked at the ground. The memory from home disappearing again. She closed her eyes. Don't go, don't go just yet. Charlie tried as hard as she could to hang on, but it faded away. As much as she hated to share this with him, she could not stop herself. Monroe looked at her with a puzzled look, but the irritation was out of his eyes.

'I remember Miles,' she took a long pause, 'but I also remember you. You were there too. Before, before...' she could not finish her sentence.

She noticed Monroe moved his gun around in his hand a little bit. Almost unsure, something she did not see that often in him.

'Yeah, I was there,' he answered with his deep voice. He did not need to ask what she meant. He knew.

She nodded, it was the only thing she could do. There were so many questions racing through her mind. He had been a part of her old world, and her memory of that man, the almost unbearable lightness of the memory, changed everything. The moment she remembered Miles, it had been a turning point. It anchored him into her life. And now, in a different way this was happening with Monroe too. It made things easier and impossibly more difficult at the same time. There was a point in her life that Monroe was Bass to her. Bass.

There were so many things she felt at the same time, she could not talk about it anymore. She started moving again, Monroe following her again. Touching this memory was too much. The gap between now and then too big. A gap filled with impossible memories, pain and damage. They both knew it. Felt it in their own way.

For the rest of the afternoon Charlie tried to focus on the road, on her surroundings. When it was almost nightfall they stopped for the night. She took some soap, and a fresh tank top and walked to the river she spotted a little bit earlier. She washed out her tank top, then started washing her hair and tried to let the water wash of this day. But she could not help but think about one question: how did they all end up here? How did life got from the lightness from that memory to the impossible reality she lived in now? She slipped into her clothes again and sat against a tree nearby the river. Once more she let the memory in, her little brother, her father. Family. Him. She fought back the tears.

Charlie thought about the moment in the forest near the town, the attack from the clansmen. The moment she realised that if something was to happen to her, her family got no warning. The faces of her mother, grandfather, Miles and Aaron came to her. Her family. And even without thinking it completely through, she knew she had made a decision. The leverage of not telling Monroe where they were going , this way of pissing him off, pushing him out, could hurt her family. It was a risk, but for the sake of her family, she needed to take it. She had to tell him they were headed for Willoughby.

If he was going to betray her by going back to the Monroe that stood next to Strausser when he was holding her at gunpoint the moment she shared the one piece of information he needed from her, she had a reason to hate him even more deeply. Then things were simple again, then he would go back to the cold son psycho she needed him to be. But she did not know why, but there was a small part of her, that wished he wouldn't. That he would not betray her. That he would prove her wrong.

Charlie got up from the tree, and slowly walked back to Monroe. He sat by the fire, bended forward, arms resting on his knees. He looked like he was deep in his own thoughts, but Charlie knew better. This man was always aware of his surroundings. He was taking slow gulps from his flask. Her heart started to beat faster, the same feeling when she was in Vegas, ready to put an arrow in his neck.

She put the soap back in her bag and put the tank top she washed out by the river close to the fire so it could dry. She spotted one of his guns laying next to him. She took a spot by the fire, putting enough distance between them. But not so much she would give the signal of being afraid of what could happen. She never had, and would never give him that pleasure. She felt her weapon in the waistband of her jeans. She felt her body tense up.

'Willoughby,' She stared at the fire when she spoke the word out loud. 'Miles and my mother are in Willoughby.'

She could feel every muscle tense up even more. She did not want to look at him, but she searched for his eyes. They would tell the story, tell her if she had made a mistake. Told her if the psycho Monroe would come back. There was a hint of surprise in his eyes. The moment seemed to last forever. Things seemed to slow down. He took another sip from his flask. Then his eyes went back to the fire.

'Then Willoughby it is,' Monroe said.

His energy did not chance. There was no smugness in his face, no cold words for her. After some time Charlie could see his hand reach out for her, holding the flask in it. She looked at him, and there must have been some surprise in her eyes as well because she could see some amusement in his eyes. She took the flask from him, hesitated a little bit, and then took a sip. The drink burned in the back of her throat. She gave the flask back to Monroe and was finally able to let go of some of the tension in her body and in her mind. A surprised sense of relieve was what took it's place.


	9. Another storm in a shed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello kind readers, so another chapter, another part of the Charloe story! Today our favorite roadtrippers will face a storm together...  
> Coverart by Kwacenka.

Charlie did not realise it, but those weeks she spent with Monroe on the road from Vegas back to Willoughby set the pieces on the board, their board, like a game of human chess, for the future. Those weeks had influenced her, her decisions, her feelings and the way she looked at him. And most importantly, they changed things within her.

Getting closer and closer to Willoughby, the bubble of their little word together, just the two of them, was starting to fade a little. She became closer to her family, closer to her past. The memory of the image of Straussers gun in her face visiting her more often again. The day when her father was killed, the day she lost Danny so soon after getting him back. The pain, the damage done, it all started to come back. The all too familiar battle in her mind at heart still raging. It made her take a step back from him. She went more silent, put more distance between her and Monroe.

They were on the road again for the whole day after an early start. She was sitting next to him in front of the wagon, the wind playing with her long hair.

She glanced over, taking him in for just a couple of seconds. He looked different now, different from the President who had stood next to Strausser back in Phily. It was not only his beard, which made him look more edgy, his clothing or the tan on his skin. His eyes were different, his body language too.

They passed a sign, only 10 more miles to Willoughby. After all those weeks, after hundreds and hundreds of miles, there were only 10 miles left between them and the future before her. A future that ,apparently, would have Monroe in it too for now. Charlie turned her eyes back on the dusty road before them. She felt how Monroe glanced her way, but she was not sure if he looked at her or that he noticed the sign too.

They hadn't talked since breakfast , it wasn't that uncommon for them, but today the air was filled with the past and the future. Tomorrow. Tomorrow she would see her family, but she would also bring him back to her family.

The last time her Uncle and Monroe met, it almost cost him his life. She was not sure what would happen. What she would bring back to her family and how they would react. Part of her was still not ready to think about it. But part of her realised that the time was now almost there for her to have to think about it.

In the distance she could see the sky getting darker, she could feel rain coming their way. What Charlie was sure of, was that Monroe was right. There were problems ahead, a new battle, danger, a threat. She could feel it as much as she felt and saw those rainclouds coming their way. The sound of thunder, the grey sky lighting up.

Monroe looked at her for only a second and she nodded. They would have to find shelter. Neither of them protested because of the sudden delay. They both had reasons to get to Willoughby as fast as they could, but now when the moments was getting closer, Charlie felt relieved that there was one more moment of delay, delaying the storm that would follow this one.

After some scouting they found a small shed, not too far from the road. When Charlie was getting her bag and things for the night she felt the first raindrops on her skin. It reminded her of the drops of rain on her skin and the thunder after waking up and finding out she was still alive because of him.

They both walked inside, Monroe being efficient and starting a fire in the small fireplace as fast as he could. Charlie turned her back on him and leaned into the doorpost. She crossed her arms before her, almost wanting to protect herself from her own emotions, her long blonde hair falling over one shoulder. The rain was pouring down now, thunder and lightning everywhere. The storm hit them.

There was no way around the fact that he saved her life. First it made her even more angry, but now that emotion gave way for so many new ones. One of them was gratitude. Meeting him, getting to know him. The glimpse of a different man. No. Not a different man she decided. She saw more of him, different parts of him.

She fought with him, she talked to him. She remembered him. She remembered when Monroe was Bass to her. She remembered when his face was not so heavy filled with his past, his eyes light. She took comfort from him. Comfort from Monroe. She never felt so torn, so torn between so many feelings.

Looking back, Charlie felt some kind of pull, some kind of energy, to this man from the very moment he started talking to her in the swimming pool. First it was shaped in the form of hate and loathing, but there was something about his presence that made a difference.

She did not understood at that moment, but from the moment it was not just only them anymore back in Willoughby, she realised how much his presence made a difference. Where she always thought and know for sure she would feel relieve when he was no longer her problem, it would not happen. But for now, she was way too close to the situation to reflect on those feelings.

It was getting darker, a chill creeping up from her legs to her core. She realised she must have been standing and staring into the rain for a while because it was not only getting darker because of the storm. Somewhere beyond those storm clouds, the sun had started to go down. The realisation that this was their last night together on the road, hit her like a strike of lightning.

She felt Monroe taking a step in her direction. She turned her heard towards him and saw that he had her jacket in his hand. He threw the jacket her way, not in an unfriendly way. She caught it mid-air and was happy she could cover his cold shoulders with the fabric.

Her hair got caught under the jacket and with a smooth movement she pulled it out and let the blonde hair fall on her shoulder.s She felt Monroe's eyes on her. She could simply feel he was there, Charlie did not have to look anymore.

The forest around the shed was filled with rain and rolling thunder. In less than a second a strike of lighting hit the ground not far away from where Charlie was standing. The force took her by surprise, her heart pounding from adrenaline. Her instinct kicked in, she stepped back as fast she could. She did not mean to crash into his chest, but all of a sudden he was there. Monroe's hard chest against her soft back. His scruff touching the side of her head, meeting her golden hair.

As much as she always wanted distance, in every possible way, between them, Charlie could not help herself. Monroe's energy, his body so close to her, it made her think about nothing else in that moment. Feeling the warmth of his body took her by surprise. She could feel he did not step away either. For a moment the energy between them had changed. Another roll of thunder got her out of the moment. She took a couple of steps away from him not sure what to do. And just like that, the energy in the shed changed again, it softly went back to what it was before.

'Hungry?' his question sounded so very simple after that very complex and intense moment.

She turned around slowly. Without noticing he prepared a simple meal, a meal she was thankful for, because it gave her something to do. Pulling her even further away from what just happened. She was thankful for his simple question, for not making this harder for her. Sometimes, it was like he was in her head. She gave him some credit for this.

'Very,' was her simple answer.

Monroe sat down with his back relaxed to the back wall of the shed. So here they were, again. A thunderstorm, a small fire, food. Although Charlie realised, with an inside smile, his knife was nowhere around him. Not like that night she tried, with her head full of drugs, to try and kill him one more time before giving in for the moment.

Charlie could have taken a seat against the wall opposed to him, but she didn't. She took some bread and cheese and sat next to him. Almost close enough to feel touch his arm, close enough to feel his warmth again. Almost. They started eating in silence. She wanted to talk to him, but as always, memories and stubbornness got in her way. It was just them. Them, the small fire and a raging storm outside.

Before she was able to hold back, she looked at him. Her eyes looking for his.

'I hope,' she paused, noticing how Monroe was looking a little bit away from her face, but still in her direction, 'I hope Miles is willing to listen to you tomorrow.'

Her voice had no double meaning in it, no goal to harm him. She meant it. It was all she could share with him now.

Monroe looked up and found her eyes, finally. His eyes told her he did not expect this. She could see the fight within him, doubt, memories. He gave her a small nod, and then looked back into the fire. She understood him. At that moment she truly understood him. She did not know what would happen tomorrow. But for now, it was enough.


	10. A blanket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So very nice to see you again. As promised: another chapter for this story. The next chapter will be the last one, because there was still so many that needed to be told, I just had to write more. I decided to add another chapter.
> 
> And after these two chapters, it's on to the second story: Things change.'If you are curious about Monroe's thoughts from this story, you will find more about that in that second story. I hope you will enjoy it!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Revolution, just a daydream about what could have happened. ;-)  
> Coverart by Kwacenka.

The rain had stopped during the night. The curtain of raindrops faded slowly and when the sun came up, it made the raindrops on the leaves light up like little crystals. The shed had kept both of them dry, warm and hidden from the world.

Sleep had not been an easy thing at first for Charlie that night, although she felt comfort from the small shed and the small fire still giving her some warmth. But the day ahead full of uncertainty, full of dread, full of the past meeting the present constantly keeping her company.

And somewhere further in the back of her mind a constant replay from the moment where her body locked with Monroe's for a moment. Why did her mind keep going back to that moment? Why had she been so overly aware of his body. Why was she all of a sudden so aware about hers?

Just when she decided that sleep was for another night, she had drifted off into a deep dreamless sleep. When she woke up she found herself curled up under a blanket. A blanket that she was sure was not wrapped around her when she fell asleep. A blanket , she knew for sure was not even hers because she left hers in the wagon, at her own annoyance.

The intense rain made her decide that the shelter, her jacket and the fire had to be enough to keep her warm. That, and her stubbornness of course. She kept her eyes closed for a moment. She was laying under his blanket. It smelled like him. And just at the moment when her mind was deciding what it was exactly that made the scent typically Monroe, another part of her mind jolted her back to reality. Back to sanity even Charlie decided. She was not going to do this. It was just a stupid blanket, he just did not want her arriving sick in Willoughby. That would not help him with the whole 'needing Miles on his side with good behaviour'- thing.

The first thing Charlie saw when she opened up her eyes was indeed Monroe, still sitting against the wall. His weapon, as always , close to his body, ready for anything. His eyes closed.

Charlie got up from under the blanket silently, stretched her body, and walked outside. She had to blink because the sunlight was sharp. The morning air cool. She felt unsure what to do. For a moment she got lingered in that feeling but then she shook her head. This was not her. She knew what had to be done. It was time for their last couple of miles on the road. Determination took over.

She turned around to find Monroe was up too and was getting the horses ready in front of the wagon. She could see he had taken the same decision, his movements sure. Already focused on what had to be done too. At least, that was one thing she kind of liked about him.

She went back and entered the shed one last time and quickly packed her few belongings. His blanket was still on the floor where she had slept. She folded it and took it in her hands. Charlie then threw her bag together with her crossbow over one shoulder and walked to Monroe.

He had his back towards her , but when he noticed she was walking directly at him and stopped close to him, he turned around, meeting her eyes.

There was a small breeze playing with her hair and she had to pull a string of hair from her face. Charlie noticed how Monroe followed the movement of her hand with his eyes. It was subtle, but she noticed.

Without words she slowly reached out one hand to him holding the blanket . His eyes turned to the ground, then again to her. The moment his eyes reached her eyes again he took the blanket from her hands. Charlie turned her head to the right, looking at something that was not even there. She heard what was apparently her own voice, very far away.

'Thank you.'

It was somewhere close to a whisper, nowhere near the tone she wanted to hear when speaking to Monroe.

She started to walk towards to back of the wagon and did not wait for his reaction.


	11. New Vegas, again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are, the final chapter from this story, it concludes 'Going back'. But no worries, the story continues, with more Charloe ahead. I am just not ready to part with these two amazing characters and writing. The next story will continue where we leave things today. It's called 'Things change' and the first chapters are already there for you guys! It will be longer, following the second season and I will write about how everything is changing, again, for Charlie and Bass. But in the middle of these changes, they will find each other again and again.  
> Coverart by Kwacenka.
> 
> As always, feel free to share your thoughts, ideas or even request for a one shot ( don't be shy, send me a private message if you like ). I am happy to write for you! I love to write about Charloe, but different ideas are always welcome!

The last miles Charlie spent with Monroe on the road were silent ones. They hid the wagon and closed the remaining distance between them and Willoughby on foot. The needed to scout the area first and found a perfect location on a roof just near the town. A cold grip locked around Charlie's heart when they found out that the trouble Monroe talked about many weeks ago, already found Willoughby. Found her family.

An American flag, men in uniforms she had not seen before guarding the town walls. Weapons everywhere. All of this new to her but the threat coming from the situation made her want only one thing: find her family, as fast as she could.

When Monroe was still taking in every little detail of their surroundings, Charlie started to slowly back down from the roof. It took Monroe a second to register her move before he reached out to her, trying to stop her, his left hand firmly locked around her right.

'Hey, where are you going?' He asked sharply and Charlie could not decide if there was irritation or something else in his voice. Whatever it was, Monroe had obviously decided to go for a firm tone.

'I am going to find my mum, they might already have her' She tried to keep her voice down but an intense feeling of irritation washed over her. This was her family, she needed to find them. Why the hell did he think he got a say in this? She looked Monroe in the eyes, giving her line some extra weight.

She tried to pull back from his grip, but she noticed there was no complete dedication in it. A part of her already aware when uttering the words she just spoke to him that acting on that impulse alone, was not the way to go.

'Charlie,' Monroe looking back at her, his free hand pointing at the town walls, his tone deep, his hand pulling her back down the roof and next to his side. 'They already have the town. We have to be smart and scope it out first.' His hand still wrapped around her arm, wanting to stop her not only with his words.

Charlie, he had called her Charlie. He did not do that often and the sound of her name coming from him was familiar yet so new to her. There was an urgency in his voice and the way he choose his words, the way he was pulling her back to him. She realised he was doing his best to not be a son of a bitch and really needed her to understand.

And last, and this was the hardest part, after a couple of second she knew he was right. She knew they needed to do this first. The moment she came to this realisation, her arm must have relaxed just a little bit, because Monroe let go of her arm.

So they did scope out the town first, following the walls, counting the men, paying attention to the details. Charlie observed Monroe being focused, taking in his environment, his movements careful but so very certain.

They made sure they stayed out of sight. Charlie remembered a point north of the town where they could approach and hopefully she would be able to get in. She hoped that the one weak spot in the defence of the town wall was still there so she could slip in.

Luck was on their side because they were able to find the spot , giving her a chance to get to into the town. Charlie checked her weapons, felt the weight of her crossbow on her back. She knew she had to get to Miles first. And there it was again, her not being sure at all how Miles would react when he would understand who she brought back. She knew how explosive and unpredictable Monroe, she knew there was so much history between those men although she was far from understanding only a small part of it. She knew her uncle's strength, she knew how fast things could go to hell today. It gave her a punch in the stomach, a feeling she could not push away anymore.

They were still out hidden from sight, under a line of trees, not far from a high bridge. They had decided pretty fast that she would go first, try to find her family and take it from there. She noticed how Monroe shifted his weight from one boot to another, his eyes straight ahead, weapon loosely in his hands but the little gestures from his body told her he was tensed, unsettled. Charlie realised she was not alone in her feelings of dread and anticipation.

She was not sure anymore what she felt, so she kept telling herself to find Miles. Find Miles first and then take the next step. She was not sure anymore what to say to him, although she knew this was probably one of those rare little moments she spent time with Monroe alone. She still was not able to thank him. Thank him for the night he made sure those men in that bar did not take what was not theirs to take. Thank him for seeing another sunrise. But that did not mean she was not grateful. Because she was. Somewhere behind all the hurt, the things she lost, his actions, their history together, she wanted to say those words to him. Thank you.

She just did not know how to talk to him. So she kept her eyes on a point in the distance as well and started to walk in the direction of the town.

'Charlie,' His voice tense and slow. She turned around, saw him a couple of feet away, uphill. She felt he wanted to say more but he changed his mind. Instead he gave her a small nod. His eyes still tense but not unfriendly.

She kept the eye contact with him, deciding it was too hard to speak. She nodded back, and then had to break away from his eyes. Without looking back, but with the absolute certainty knowing Monroe's eyes were following her, she took the first step to Willoughby.

Present

Now Charlie followed another path, this time she was not walking to Willoughby but towards Duncan's camp. She could see the light from several fires in the darkness in the distance and hear men chatting, drinking.

She hated to be wrong. Being wrong was not one of her favourite things, she was a Matheson, that said it all. But she was wrong, wrong about him. Here in the cover of darkness of the night, alone, where it was just her and her thoughts, away from what everybody else around her wanted her to feel, she could finally admit it to herself.

That one line he said to her, in that empty swimming pool. She could hear him, picture him again against the wall and hear him say it again and again.

'You don't know me Charlotte.'

He was right. Something was released in her chest when she finally allowed herself to give in. He was right.

It had happened ever so slowly. But there was more of him to get to know. He became human. Things unfolded on the road back to Willoughby with all those little moments between them. She did everything she could to not let herself feel it. To keep him at a distance. He had to stay that one dimensional monster she created to deal with her pain. He had to stay Monroe. Not a person, but Monroe.

She did his best pushing all his buttons so he would hurt her, but he never did. He had to stay Monroe, not become a person. Not the person who saved her life after she did everything in her power to take his. He was not supposed to show up in her memories, he was not supposed to give her comfort, he was not supposed the be a man she ended up in fights with, only to discover they actually could work together.

But there was no going back now. There was no going back from this. Charlie always fought, and always would be fighting, for the values and people she cared about. She could have just walked away, from the cage, from Connor and Monroe, leave them there. Leave him there to die. Death by a stroke from his own son. Because there was no doubt in her mind that Monroe would do anything else.

She could have everything she did not get the first time she went to Vegas. But she could not leave him behind. She knew she probably was not going to walk away alive from not wanting to leave him behind. But leaving Bass behind, just was not an option anymore. Because she would never say it to his face for a very long time, but Monroe became Bass. Bass. After all, one time not so long ago Monroe came back for her. Now Charlie was going back for him.

The End ( for now)

\---------------------

So, here we are, at the end of this story. A story formed with Charlie's memories. But of course, we all know, this story is not over yet. There is more to tell! If you want to read more? Then you can start with 'Things change' I will pick the story up where we left Charlie and Monroe, just outside Willoughby. It will follow the second season, but them with more and new Charloe angles. If you have request, ideas or feedback? Feel free to share, I am always open to fresh ideas for this long and Charloe filled story. Thank you for reading, reviewing and sharing your thoughts. You guys are the best! For now, goodbye and hopefully I will meet you all in the next story!


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